Category: Tim Elmore

Tim Elmore: How to Stop Being a Control Freak with Your Kids

7/7/2020

I just spoke to Sharon, a mom who is now teaching her three kids at home during the COVID-19 pandemic. The first few days were novel and even fun. The adrenaline that flows from doing something new had kicked in. Now, it’s a different story. Sharon told me recently her biggest struggle is wanting to control everything. I can see her point. Wouldn’t it be nice to:

Control their attitudes?
Control their effort in school?
Control their ambition for studies?
Control their maturity levels?

Many people admit to being a control freak when I ask audiences to respond to the question. In fact, the number of people who raise their hands to acknowledge their desire for control is growing. More and more people wish they had more control over the situations and people in their life. A growing body of research suggests it isn’t limited to a certain temperament anymore. Most of us want it. It’s actually a form of perfectionism. “A new study published in Psychological Bulletin demonstrates that perfectionism is increasing over time: Today’s youth are more demanding of others, and they are more demanding of themselves. They also feel like other people (e.g., parents) are more demanding of them,” says U.C. Berkeley....

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Tim Elmore: The Importance of Sharing Responsibility with Your Kids

4/9/2020

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Have you ever heard your student, employee, or son or daughter say something like:

That wasn’t my fault. (And you know it was.)
Mrs. Vargus gave me a bad grade. (And you know it was earned.)
He made me do it. (And you know it was a choice.)
You don’t trust me. (And you wonder if you should.)

Responsibility is something students usually learn as they mature. Our culture today, however, makes it difficult for kids to do so. In 1954, Dr. Julian Rotter created a scale to measure whether students had developed an internal locus of control (They assume responsibility for their lives) or an external locus of control (They assume external forces control their lives). Over time, Dr. Rotter concluded that those with an internal locus become measurably more successful than those with an external locus. They take more responsibility for their health, their careers, their marriages and families, and their attitudes. The data reveals, however, that over the last 42 years, U.S. students have experienced a steep incline in possessing an external locus of control and a decrease in possessing an internal locus of control. The shift has been so great that the average young person today has a more external locus than 80% of the young people in the 1960s, according to Dr. Peter Gray from Boston College.

Note: The above comes directly from their website. Click here to read more!

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Tim Elmore: Three Ways to Know If Your Kid Is Dealing with Loneliness

4/1/2020

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Three Ways to Know If Your Kid Is Dealing with Loneliness

When both of my kids were young, they had no problem expressing what they wanted or needed. My wife and I would’ve sworn they were both extroverts, as they (like millions of other Millennials) let us know if they were hungry, thirsty, in need of a toy, or desiring a friend.
Then they became high school students and later, college students.
Eventually, the situation changed around our house. Turns out our daughter is, indeed, an extrovert and is energized by her time with people. (Don’t believe it? Just ask her). My son, however, is an introvert and has a difficult time expressing his deepest feelings or desires, even when they’re merely social. He is intelligent, college-educated, and actually quite articulate. (He’s a writer.) But he has an easier time sharing what he thinks than how he feels, just like his dad.

Note: The above comes directly from their website. Click here to read more!

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Tim Elmore: Why Tough Grading Teachers Produce Better Learners in the End

3/3/2020

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Tim Elmore: Why Tough Grading Teachers Produce Better Learners in the End

This may not surprise you, but a new study found that students perform better on standardized tests each year when their teachers are tough graders—and argues that when students have the mindset that says “everybody gets a gold star,” it does “more damage than good.”
The report, published by the Thomas B. Fordham Institute, found this effect holds true for students across ethnic groups, gender, socioeconomic makeup or prior academic background. What’s more, the study also found evidence of long-term learning gains for students.
Truth be told, however, most students don’t love that demanding teacher or the one that grades tough on papers or exams. In fact, they push back.

Note: The above comes directly from their website. Click here to read more.

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Tim Elmore: How Involved Should Parents Be in Their Child's Education?

2/28/2020

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Tim Elmore: How Involved Should Parents Be in Their Child's Education?

During the past month, I found myself speaking to more than 6,500 parents in various locations across the U.S. I never have a more engaged audience than when I’m interacting with moms and dads.
That month, I found the most popular question was--how do I support my child in school?
Behind that question are looming thoughts like:

My daughter is so stressed out—should I just do her homework for her?
My son is so busy with sports and lessons—should I excuse him from doing his chores?
My kids are both falling behind—should I talk to their teacher about easing up a bit?

Today’s parental expectations are different than they were in the past. All generations of parents care about their kids’ future, but today, we feel we need to ensure they reach their goals, even if it means: ......

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Tim Elmore: Parents: Why You Need to Stop Doing Your Kid’s Work

2/11/2020

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Tim Elmore: Parents: Why You Need to Stop Doing Your Kid’s Work

The latest example of the new way parents view their children just occurred. It illustrates our shift from equipping our youth to cope with adversity, to seeking ways to reduce the adversity. Instead of believing they’re strong enough to face tough times, we look outward for an answer.

It happened the week following Kobe Bryant’s tragic helicopter crash, killing all nine people on board. I was in disbelief over this horrible accident but had no idea how parents would react. One high school principal told me he received several phone calls the next day asking if he would have extra counselors on campus to manage the kids’ grief. Another parent assumed the students should get some time off.
Wow. I think that may just be a bit melodramatic.

Note: The above comes directly from their website. Click here to read more!

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Tim Elmore: How to Stop Being a Control Freak with Your Kids

Tim Elmore: The Importance of Sharing Responsibility with Your Kids

Tim Elmore: Three Ways to Know If Your Kid Is Dealing with Loneliness

Tim Elmore: Why Tough Grading Teachers Produce Better Learners in the End

Tim Elmore: How Involved Should Parents Be in Their Child's Education?

Tim Elmore: Parents: Why You Need to Stop Doing Your Kid’s Work

Bruce Kletke

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Tim Elmore: How to Stop Being a Control Freak with Your Kids

Tim Elmore: The Importance of Sharing Responsibility with Your Kids

Tim Elmore: Three Ways to Know If Your Kid Is Dealing with Loneliness

Tim Elmore: Why Tough Grading Teachers Produce Better Learners in the End

Tim Elmore: How Involved Should Parents Be in Their Child's Education?

Tim Elmore: Parents: Why You Need to Stop Doing Your Kid’s Work

Bruce Kletke

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